These are my notes from Andy Stanley’s Life Apps series and this is message #4. I thought this might be especially useful for churches preparing to move into a season of church construction. If you don’t read anything else here skip to the bottom and read the 5 commitments North Point Community Church asks their team to make.
This is Life App 4 – Trust - Application makes all the difference.
How many of you have bought fitness equipment? How many of you have read all or part of diet book?
Buying stuff makes us feel like we’re making progress.
In the spiritual realm we have the same thing when we come to church.
We leave a worship experience and we feel like we’ve made progress…..but we’ve deceived ourselves. We’re wrong.
‘When our obedience intersects with Gods faithfulness, our faith grows.”
Life App Trust
The health and quality of your relationships depends on you ability to trust. A big part of that is who you are, and what experiences you are bringing into every relationship you have.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV)
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. [5] It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. [6] Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. [7] It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love doesn’t try to catch people doing the wrong thing but tries to catch them doing the right thing.”
Love…It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
I’m going to do everything possible to protect. I’m going to trust even when it doesn’t make sense. I’m going to hope all things and endure all things.
Love, real love……bends. It’s flexible and not rigid. It bends, It bends, It bends. Love gives them the benefit of the doubt. Love looks for the most generous explanation for the other persons behavior.
Love chooses trust over suspicion. We all have expectations and experiences and there is often a gap between expectations and experiences. We decide what to put in this gap. We can believe the best, or assume the worst.
The other persons behavior does not determine what you put in the gap. You decide what you put on the gap. You choose choose, because love bends, it trusts , it protects
In healthy relationships, both parties go to ridiculous lengths to believe the best. There is nothing gained by assuming the worst. Things don’t get better when people understand that you don’t trust them. Suspicion is an expression of rejection
Our hearts move towards acceptance and away from rejection. That’s why assuming the worst is never a win. Even when you have the facts to back it up. Love endures all things, it protects all things….LOVE BENDS. Once you begin to express suspicion the door on that relationship begins to close. Do everything you can to trust. The other person doesn’t force you to put something in that gap. You choose.
When you can’t choose to trust, you must choose to confront.
Instead of stewing on it we must confront. But we don’t. We call our sister, (mother, brother, friend) and we talk about the gap and we get mad, and madder, and madder.
When you just can’t believe any more, and you just can’t trust, you don’t fill it with suspicion you ask a question. You have to ask for help from the person where there is a gap. Confronting is asking for an explanation and assuming there is a good one. You assume there is a really good explanation and you need to hear it and move on.
Being non-confrontational is not and excuse. 90% of people are non-confrontational. Who really wants to be confronted by someone who is confrontational anyway.
The longer you wait the worse the gap becomes and when you finally decide to confront it’s like a guiatine, and the relationship is over.
You say “I want to believe the best so I don’t want to wonder.” By confronting you are keeping the door of the relationship open. LOVE BENDS. It always tries to protect and trust and when it just can’t anymore you confront.
5 commitments we ask our staff to make at North Point
1. When ther is a gap I will believe the best.
2. When others assume the worst about you, I’m going to come to your defense.
3. If what I experience begins to erode my trust I’m coming directly to you. (The shortest route to relationship is to continue to communicate ” I want to trust you”. The shortest way to determine who is untrustworthy is to trust them. The shortest way to make someone untrustworthy is to fill the gap with suspicion.)
4. When I’m not going to be able to keep a promise I’m going to let u know ahead of time.
5. When you confront me about gaps I’ve created I’m going to tell you the truth.
Don’t you want people to believe the best about you?
Here are a couple places for you to start.
Ask yourself:
1. Do I have a hard time trusting people? Get somewhere alone and assay out loud “I have a hard time trusting people”. You may be part of the problem. Saying out loud may be a revelation for you
2. Who is it you have a hard time trusting. You just can’t believe the best about them. What would it look like in that relationship to bend. It might throw the doors wide open.
What could you do to break a cycle of a lack of trust.
LOVE BENDS and it’s the foundation of all great relationships.
Are you willing to do what the Apostle Paul said to do and BEND.
will teach you how to avoid the 7 Deadly Sins of Church Construction. 
